You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
