i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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