i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
