you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
two words...techno handjob
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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