i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize