Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
