oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
