whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
