would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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