if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
