i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
