Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
