Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
