I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
