I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
