he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
