i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
