Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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