she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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