your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
