Who did Billy Mays play for?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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