Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
you win again, gameday.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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