You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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