she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize