Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
