hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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