Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
