I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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