She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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