I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
