I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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