We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
