what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
