Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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