dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
