College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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