haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Randomize
