Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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