I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
