i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
did i just pee glitter
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize