I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I can text with my tongue
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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