if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
They took my balls.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
