Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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