Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
