roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just high enough for therapy.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
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