I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize