I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
