Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize