yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
