ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
