nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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