I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
