I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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