Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize