Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize