The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
