just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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