So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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