New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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