need another drink. this is the easiest way
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
