Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
