I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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